At present, people usually sleep less than before, in general, young people. And it is caused by the advantages oftechnology and the direction of the new society.
Firstly, the majority of people now sleep less than before because they have more things to do like take care of their children, do some work or just be on the computer without doing anything . This type of things are a result of modern life, because with all these new changes like the TV and all the films and programs they put on it or just all the games and social webs on the computer, are causing that. Another thing is that some people don’t do their tasks in their free time and then when the night comes, they have to do them.
Finally, I don’t think that modern life is bad for us, but in my opinion people need to sleep at least seven or eight hours, and the majority of most people don’t sleep it, which affect to their efficiency. In my opinion, people can use the advantages of modern life but with some measure.
The second half of the second paragraph is confusing. Don't translate literally and try to organise your ideas.
ReplyDeleteErase the mistakes ,correct them and underline the changes you've made.
I've corrected a few more mistakes (red- still wrong; blue- final correction). Read your essay again ,erase the words in red and change the colour of what I've corrected.
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