Now a days, because of the global crisis, shopping is a compulsive act for a lot of people; and why could shopping an addiction?
Some people are used to going shopping when they are depressed or nervous, after a time, they need to buy something every time they are depressed or nervous. This behavior is considered an addiction, because they need to shop and they feel better after having done it. These type of people need help from psychologists or doctors. But they are a little group of people. Other people are affected by the media, which shows them lot of stupid products and finally people buy unnecessary things. In addition, the sales are the main reason for shopping, because when we see an offer, we think that it is a bargain and buy it. Furthermore if the sales are at Christmas, the purchases are bigger.After buying something, some people feel bad and worse before having bought it, because they regret having bought it without any reason.
I think that some people need help to overcome their addiction, but shopping isn’t always an addiction, when we buy something without reason, it could be because of propaganda. In my opinion, we shouldn’t pay attention to publicity; because publicity wants us to buy their products.
Good job Ignasi. The ideas on the essay are clear even though you have made a few mistakes. I agree with you when you talk about giving too much importance to advertisement. Keep working!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, Ignasi, but I think it's also our fault because it's always our decision to buy something or not, even if we have been lied to, we can always decide; and by the way, there are other ways of getting over difficult times, like doing sport.
ReplyDeleteTo conclude, I think you can improve your essay if you use easier words, the same happens to me and, I think it's better to write more common words and don't having any mistake. But, I think you have done a good essay and you have put an effort on it so I think you deserve a 7 out of 10
I agree with you Ignasi, some people use to spent money to forget their problems. I think that if they have problems and spent money to forget that problems, they will increase their problems. Good job Ignasi!!
ReplyDeleteNow read the essay and pay attention to the words in blue. Then erase the words in red and change the whole colour (original colour- black) and write FINAL VERSION next to the title.
ReplyDelete