GRANDPARENTS LOOKING AFTER GRANDCHILDREN. SHOULD THEY BE PAID?

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Grandparents as childcare resource.

In today’s tough economy, finding affordable, good quality day care is a difficult task. Often grandparents can step in to ease the burden.

But, no one wants to make the solution more of a burden than the problem. There are some pitfalls that both grandparents and parents must avoid in order to keep established relationships healthy while taking advantage of a workable solution.

Grandparents as Care Givers

Grandparents can provide good and healthy daycare for their grandchildren. Such a task can increase the bond between grandparent and children, as well as allowing each an intimate look into the others' lives. This can forge understanding and appreciation across generations as well as be a life saving solution for parents who work.

Grandparents, however, have to keep in mind a few things. First of all, grandparents must respect their adult children's style of parenting. Everything from discipline to feeding schedules has to be discussed so that the child has consistence between houses and families. While grandparents are often known for indulging grandchildren, during the week care giving is not the time to do so. Parents are the first teachers of children, and care giving grandparents must remember to respect the way a parent wants a child raised.

In addition, grandparents have to recognize that this is a long term commitment that requires much responsibility. Whether it is minding an infant throughout the day or simply providing afterschool monitoring, grandparents must remember that this is a serious commitment and a lot of work. Neither is that work easy. Kids are a tough business, and most grandparents who are able to do this either work from home or are retired. Grandparents need to take a seriously hard look at the issue of how they want to spend their time.

Parents need to also realize what kind of hard work this is and cannot automatically expect that grandparents are always available to cover day care or even to babysit for an evening. There must be established a mutual respect between the parents and the grandparents if this is to work.

Parents also need to explore the notion of payment. This is a hard job, so maybe some kind of token payment would be acceptable in recognition of the work involved and to differentiate between just spending time with the kids and being their full time care giver.

Communication is the Key

Parents and grandparents must communicate clearly on what is expected of each in these new roles. Everything from snack time and content through homework rules have to be discussed and agreed upon. After that, everyone be aware of and stick to the agreement.

Furthermore grandparents, while they may  must  think they know a better way, must still respect the way parents want their kids raised and cared for. Sometimes that is not an easy place for a grandparent to be. Agree to a time limited trial time to see how it works. If it does, then the arrangement can be permanent, if not, with no hard feelings, parents can seek other sources for child care options.

Don't Take It Personally. Above all, no matter what the outcome, remember not to take it personally. Some grandparents are not cut out for full time child care and some parents and grandparents are unable to negotiate a healthy solution. Sometimes the arrangement is simply not meant to be. Giving it a try with communication and honestly is the best way to start out and may be just the solution working parents are looking for.

GRANDPARENTS RAISING GRANDCHILDREN 

Grandparents are an important resource for both parents and children. They routinely provide child care, financial assistance and emotional support. Occasionally they are called upon to provide much more including temporary or full time care and responsibility for their grandchildren.

An increasing number of children in the United States live in households headed by a grandparent. This trend is due to:

• increasing numbers of single parent families

• the high rate of divorce

• teenage pregnancies

• incarcerations of parents

• substance abuse by parents

• illness, disability or death of parents

• parental abuse or neglect

In many of these homes, neither of the child's biological parents is present. In most cases, children taken care of by grandparents move in with them as infants or preschoolers and remain with them for five years or more. These grandparents are a diverse group ranging in ages from their thirties to their seventies. Many grandparents are ready to simplify their lives and slow down. Giving that up and taking over the responsibilities of being a primary caregiver again can stir up many feelings including grief, anger, loss, resentment and possibly guilt. The transition can be very stressful and the emotional and financial burdens can be significant. Culture shock at having to deal with children and adolescents of a different generation can be great. Grandparent headed households have a significantly higher poverty rate than other kinds of family units.

Many grandparents in this care taking role underestimate or are unaware of the added burdens their new role as "parents" will place upon them. Grandparents often assume their role will be to nurture and reward children without having to set limits. When grandparents serve as primary caregivers, however, they must learn to set limits and establish controls as they did with their own children.

Many children living with grandparents arrive with preexisting problems or risk factors including abuse, neglect, prenatal exposure to drugs and alcohol, or loss of parents (due to death, abandonment or incarceration). This situation can create risks for both children and grandparents. Caring for your grandchild can also be very positive and rewarding. Grandparents bring the benefit of experience and perspective. They can also provide important stability and predictability for their grandchildren.

It is very important for grandparents to receive support and assistance. Seeking out other family members, clergy, support groups and social agencies can be helpful. The Grandparents Information Center (sponsored by the American Association of Retired Persons) is a good place to get information, referrals and support. Financial aid may be available especially if the child was abandoned, neglected or abused. Mental health professionals including child and adolescent psychiatrists, community mental health centers, child welfare agencies and parent-teacher associations are other important resources for the grandparents.

Child and adolescent psychiatrists recognize the important role many grandparents play in raising their grandchildren. The better grandparents are able to meet their own needs, the better they can care for their grandchildren.

MORE WORKING PARENTS WANT TO LIVE CLOSER TO GRANDPARENTS TO GET CHILDCARE HELP

A majority of British families want to move closer to their parents to take advantage of free childcare despite tensions about how to properly raise their children, a survey has found.

Researchers found more than eight in ten working mothers and fathers relied on their parents at least once a week for help with looking after their children. They found a third wanted to move close to grandparents, in order to take advantage of free childcare despite many ended up rowing about the best methods of raising a family. 
Experts described getting grandparents to help raise children was a “sweet and sour” experience because while it saved money, it often led to family disputes.

Figures show grandparents save parents an average £860 a year by offering free childcare.
In a recent speech, one of the country's most senior family lawyers, Baroness Deech said the increasing number of working women meant more grandparents were being asked to provide free child care.
The chairman of the Bar Standards Board, which regulates the work of barristers, quoted figures that showed seven out of 10 grandparents give financial support to their grandchildren, while £470 million is set aside every year into trust funds.

During the recent election, families were offered more generous benefits by all three main parties by making parental leave more flexible and improving tax breaks for couples.
In the latest survey, of more than 1500 people, researchers found more than half of parents admitted living closer to the mother’s parents while more than two in three said the maternal grandmother mainly provided childcare.
More than a third of parents surveyed said one of the main problems of using grandparents’ help was different standards of raising children.
Almost a fifth said they had a problem with the different rules or standards imposed by grandparents. The survey, for a property website, found that 28 miles was the “optimum distance to live from grandparents”.

Donna Dawson, a psychologist, advised parents that to “avoid fallouts”, they should ensure grandparents were aware of the family values and routines. She described using grandparents as a "sweet-and-sour experience". “It is (sweet) because it is people that you know and trust who have a vested interest in looking after them, as well as saving you money," she said. “(It is) ‘sour’ because family tensions can arise over how you are bringing them up.”

There has been growing concern about the effect on children's development of the rising number of working mothers in Britain. 
A recent study of 12,000 three year-olds found children looked after by grandparents while their mothers and fathers work were more likely to be overweight.
A separate study, of almost 5,000 children, found toddlers’ behaviour and educational development suffered if they are looked after by grandparents rather than in a nursery.

SHOULD WE PAY GRANDPARENTS FOR CHILDCARE?

Many grandparents provide much-needed childcare and child benefit cuts may increase this, so should they be being rewarded with a pension credit?

Family life has changed dramatically over the last few decades. Domestic life looks considerably different today to the relatively recent past where a mum could stay at home to look after the kids.
As more and more mothers are working full-time, or racking up more than half a week of work part-time, the responsibility for caring for children is often falling on grandparents' shoulders. And while most grandparents are only too happy to spend time with their grandchildren, they are increasingly being relied on to provide a backbone of support for the economy.

This situation has created a debate about whether grandparents who care for their grandchildren on a regular basis should be rewarded for doing so. And it is not just a debate confined to Britain.

Grandparents in Spain were last week being urged to go on strike to prove to the Government just how much support they are providing the economy by enabling parents to go out to work. 
A recent survey by over 50's insurance provider staysure.co.uk, claimed that 90% of over 50's believe that there should be a pension top-up for regular carers of grandchildren.

What help is there for grandparents?
In the UK, the three major political parties have acknowledged the important role that free childcare provided by grandparents plays, but have yet to put a price on it.
Currently, grandparents have no access to any state funded help, unless they are the child's legal guardians. Benefits for parents, for instance maternity/paternity leave, tax credits or vouchers cannot be transferred to grandparents.
The only way for a grandparent to gain any financial recompense in this country is to register as a childminder, but to do this they must also look after a child who is not a family member.
Many grandparents are still at working age and may find themselves either giving up work, or cutting back on hours to help provide their children with childcare. They are not entitled, as parents are, to ask for flexible hours.

Why grandparents?

The problem in the UK is that there is very little state provided childcare, and private options can be prohibitively expensive. Added to the fact that many working parents find little spare income in their pay packets after paying bills, asking their parents to help can seem like the only option.

There are many positives to having your children looked after by their grandparents as you trust them, know that they love your child and will probably be more flexible than other options. However, there are concerns that grandparents may feel unable to say no even if they are struggling to cope. Grandparents may also feel that their retirement years are for them, that they wish to enjoy their time without any obligations to provide full-time care for their grandchildren. They may prefer to see them on a social basis and not be responsible for them regularly.

So what could we do?

The difficulty in working out how to reward grandparents and how to not make those without grandchildren feel disadvantaged creates the biggest hurdle.
An actual pension top-up would effectively be giving grandparents more money and would most likely create a political row.

One option would be to reward grandparents for their time by giving a pension tax credit for the amount of time they spend looking after grandchildren.
Pension income is taxed and a case could be made for a tax break for time spent caring for grandchildren so parents can work. The problem would be administrating this and ensuring that people were not cheating the system and claiming for care that was not given.

How do we foot the bill?
The other big question of course is if grandparents are to be paid, who should foot the bill?
Whilst it is easy to say parents should, the main reason many use grandparents is because they cannot afford other options. Yet many households do not have children and may question why yet more funds are being given to help families in an already struggling welfare system.

Child benefit is being cut for high rate taxpayers and services across the economy face cuts, so where do we find more money for grandparents from?

However, children are essential to an economy's future. A successful economy needs to beat the problems of an ageing population and one where people feel they cannot afford to have children will not do that.

The fact is that grandparents are providing a huge amount of free support to the economy, and many parents would find themselves in an uncomfortable position should their parents no longer be able to help them.

GRANDPARENTS SHOULD BE PAID FOR LOOKING AFTER THEIR GRANDCHILDREN (NEWS)
SHOULD WE PAY GRANDPARENTS FOR CHILDCARE? NEWS 

NEW SANDWICH GENERATION: THE GRANDPARENTS WHO ARE HAVING TO LOOK AFTER GRANDCHILDREN AND THEIR OWN ELDERLY PARENTS (NEWS) 

SHOULD GRANDPARENTS RECEIVE PAYMENT FOR CHILD CARE? DEBATE 

Grandparents raising children

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/grandparents_raising_grandchildren

http://www.suite101.com/content/grandparents-as-a-childcare-resource-a89781

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/7739729/More-working-parents-want-to-live-closer-to-grandparents-to-get-childcare-help.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-396609/19-minutes--long-working-parents-children.html